Dealing with Sharing & Doubts of Others

Here's a little bit of my story…

I hope it helps you.

So…

I feel a bit like Neo…

but the early him…

Not the cool, bullet-stopping, glasses-wearing, flying version, though, not yet anyway.

I feel like when he's awakened from being told the truth for the first time, where he's laying in his comfy room accommodations in the jail bed, with Morpheus beside him, sitting against the wall…

He asks, 'I can't go back.. can I?'

Morpheus Responds: "No, but if you could, would you really want to?"

It's a cold, cold world… But the Matrix is ever present, promising warm food, security, and good times.

Allow me to explain.

Depending on how you got here, you may or may not know, I was laid off about 5 weeks ago from a nice, cushy, well-paying position of 8 years.

At first, it was tough for me to talk about. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and upset for like… a day…

Then I realized, who cares?

People get laid off all the time. What matters is what you do after that happens. I posted about it here on my one-month anniversary.

I've enjoyed every second of it. I'm actually thankful for it. But I’m battling fear all the time, asking me if I would go back if I could.

You see, I've been in a state of isolation, reading, learning, deciding, and most importantly, taking action consistently without fail for the last 5 weeks, every day.

I've started a new business, created 2 websites, and a newsletter. I'm working with 4 clients as I type this, with another 2 meetings this week. Helping them create or improve their online presence with websites, SEO, copywriting, and content creating/editing.

Not to mention, I am working on 2 new projects I will release in the next few weeks.

Oh, and in addition to that, I'm a full-time single father of two teenagers. They're both in Athletics, advanced classes, and programs. One is the same size as me and eats so much that I'm trying to understand how science works within his body… I just don't see how it's possible…

I'm not saying this to boast; trust me, I'm struggling with the theory of 'share so much it's painful' right now. My palms are leaving moist marks on my laptop.

Yet, these achievements are things I'd never have been able to do so quickly while working 9-5 every day. Dealing with the stress, the frustration, and not even wanting to look at a computer after 5pm.

I mean, I'd still be able to do it, but not so fast. Looking back, I'd be able to do it in half the time if I'd have to do it again now.

Don’t get me wrong, I'm not saying jobs are some terrible conspiracy to keep you locked into mental slavery… however, this time to myself has allowed exponential growth.

It's like when Neo was plugged in, and Tank uploaded all the fighting styles directly to his brain.

I feel like I’m learning at that rate, I’m obsessed with it and achieving my goal. No matter what.

Anyway, I'll get to my point.

People have a way of projecting themselves, their traumas, and their fears onto you and your goals. So you better learn how to dodge bullets…

I've spoken to a couple of 'business coaches' now; one reached out to me through LinkedIn, and the other was recommended by a close friend as a mentor.

The mentor guy spoke with me for maybe 20 mins, he talked for 18 of them, and told me that my business ideas (what little he knew about what they were at that time) weren't valid and would never work because I didn't have enough experience (rude, right!?).

The business coach lady spoke to me for 30 minutes and said she didn't want to be entirely truthful with her thoughts because 'it would make me cry,' but she was sure to tell me 'I wasn't going to make it.' 😒

I've also had a few other doubters, people who were and are very close to me.

I'll admit, hearing dream-killing feedback from people you trust can be quite the mind f*ck. Your guard is down because you trust them, and their words sprinkle little seeds of doubt all over your subconscious and immediately begin to grow.

You have to vacuum that sh*t up and throw them out in any way you can as soon as possible. Lest they'll grow into little trees, then larger ones, until they're a fully grown dark growth of doubt and fear, eventually swallowing your dream, lost forever in the hidden forest of defeat.

Yet still,

Being that I think most people aren't inherently malicious, they either:

Don't realize how what they say affects people's psyches; they just love talking.
Just suck at conveying their ideas.

So, being me…

I see their feedback as what it really is. A mirror.

It's a chance to look inside and understand why what they said made me feel the way it did.
It's an opportunity for me to analyze my path and strengthen my plans to defend against the failures they mentioned and use their ideas to improve.
It's a lesson for me to improve how to present my business ideas to others.
It's a challenge to prove both of those MFs wrong when I'm standing at the top of the stairs like Rocky in my victory pose, punching the air, ready for the next opponent. 🤬

So the takeaways…

You can tell the world your ideas; you just have to show them first. Before things are ready, keep it to yourself. Once it's out in the world, people will see it. That's when you get your feedback. That's when you share the thoughts behind it.
You're the only one that knows what you really want. Keep it that way; make your own moves, do your own thing. The only person that can make it happen the way you see it is YOU. Doesn't matter what anyone else on the planet thinks.
People can shatter your motivation and positivity if you don't have your Magneto Helmet and armor on. Getting help, support, and feedback can be good; you just have to analyze the input to ensure it's coming from a place of genuine support and not someone's own fears being projected onto you.
Try to find the jewels in everything that comes your way when you’re on your mission to your goal. Everything is an opportunity to learn.
Be obsessed with your goal. Breathe it, love it, dream it. This is a requirement for achieving large-scale endeavors. Especially one's created from nothing.
Be consistent. Write things down, every day, work towards completing steps, achieving milestones. Stretching yourself. Make decisions. TAKE ACTION.

Here are some things to make you ponder…

How do you not let the doubts, fears, and anxieties of others influence your motivation?

Who do you ask for help when you're the only person you know of on your path?

They say to truly achieve something, there's no surrender, no retreat… You have to destroy the bridge, the boats, or whatever else can allow you to escape; There’s no turning back, you either live in victory or die in defeat.

If you've read to the end, you're my type of person. I appreciate and thank you.

Until next time…

PS.

If you haven't signed up for the newsletter, now's the time! Things are about to heat up! Start here.

If you're starting a business or have one that can use some help, allow me to help you. Start with a free 1:1 consultation here.

If you want to chat, reach out to me on LinkedIn.

Later...